Authenticity, anyone?

The definition of authenticity is to be true to one's own personality, spirit, or character — also NOT my default mode, not by a long shot.  

I have googled "How to be authentic" multiple times because I wanted to find the right way to be the real me. Say what? I spent most of my 20's and 30's in a Co-Dependent haze people-pleasing everyone.

I was a shape-shifting little bitch (I use this term lovingly). 

There were several "versions" of me floating around, and there were little pieces of "authentic" me in each:

The fun aunt who created games for the kids to play during the major holidays.

The me who would wake up with raging hangovers regretting things I did or said the night before.

The toxic relationship dweller who never knew when to walk away.

The one who desperately needed external validation and would do anything to get it.

The one who kept most people at arm's length to avoid feeling betrayed/hurt again.

The one who felt lonely AF because nobody knew the real me...I didn't know the real me. 

I had no clue that I was co-dependent at the time, but I knew something was "wrong" with me. I read all the self-help books, I watched the happiness documentaries, and I applied what I learned, but nothing made a significant difference. 

And then, my therapist recommended a book on co-dependency. I was confused because I was fiercely independent. I had no clue that those two little guys could hang out in the same room. I cracked the book open during a flight and immediately got goosebumps. I remember this moment vividly - it was one of those defining moments in life. Everything this woman wrote was me; she was describing me and my life. I had never related to something so deeply. I was super excited, too. Seriously. I could put a label on it, which meant I could "fix" it, which meant I could finally "fix" me. 

I think we're all a little co-dependent, some of us are just better at it, and I was at the top of the class. I stifled real me in my pursuit of pleasing others, so it's crazy that my new business essentially requires me to share "real me" now. Life is a fun little adventure. 

I am a solopreneur building a brand, and my brand is essentially me, so marketing is just sharing me with the world. Nothing intimidating about that, right? Co-Dependent me would have sold an organ or two to avoid being in this position, but new me is up for the challenge.

I chose this path, and I knew this was part of the journey. I've changed so much in the last year and will continue to do so for the next several years. Authentic me is continually evolving, and I will practice loving each version as I level up. 

I found the image at the top of this email while scrolling Facebook, and it caught my attention and legit made me emotional. I'm not the "artistic" type so this isn't a normal reaction for me. Well, unless you consider drunkenly singing ice-ice baby at a karaoke bar "artistic." 

As an exercise in authenticity, I'll share a few things about current "real me." 

I freaking love animals, and I'll try to feed anything with fur and four legs. Seriously, I cannot resist. I once frantically attempted to feed a Nutri-grain bar to a sea lion that was swimming in a cove outside my hotel room. 

I am in awe of my friends that still go out late at night. If I'm up past 9 PM, it means that something has gone terribly wrong. 

I am equally excited and frightened about my future.

I am obsessed with coaching people, obsessed. 

I am hard on myself at times, but I'm getting better at it. 

I don't necessarily love my past, but I respect it. And I admire myself for having the courage to get to where I am today. 

Machele Galloway is a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School. She's based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and specializes in helping her clients manage their time and their minds. She firmly believes that you can't manage one without managing the other. She virtually coaches women nationwide. If she isn't coaching clients, she is studying concepts and techniques. And if she isn't doing that, she's probably playing with a dog somewhere. If you are interested in working with Machele, click here to schedule your free consultation to find out if it’s a good fit for you.

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