Disappointment Safety
Our brains will convince us that there is safety in disappointment.
That somehow, it's better to feel disappointed now than to have hope and risk potential disappointment if the thing we want doesn't happen.
For example, I have a new client that wants to get out of debt. This goal has had prime real estate in her brain for many years.
But she's afraid...
...that it might not happen.
...that she might not be able to change her habits.
...that she's just the type of person that has debt.
...to feel excited about getting out of debt only to be let down when it doesn't happen.
She's hesitant to let herself go all in because if she believes it's possible and get excited, the disappointment of it not happening would be far too much for her to handle.
She doesn't want to fail.
So she talks herself out of trying and risking the potential disappointment that could come if she fails.
She creatively comes up with excuses that seem super legit.
She doesn't get excited.
She doesn't hope for better.
She doesn't try.
She doesn't risk failing.
But she also doesn't risk winning.
She has creatively decided to go ahead and feel disappointed now.
The emotion she fears the most.
Simply put, her unmanaged mind has convinced her that it's safer just to go ahead and feel disappointed now instead of risking potential disappointment.
The toddler is driving the damn car.
Humanness = feeling disappointed when you try to accomplish something, and it doesn't work out. Totally normal. Part of the game.
Unnecessary suffering = Feeling disappointed because you're afraid that it might not work out.
My client has spent well over ten years of her life, experiencing a massive amount of unnecessary suffering.
Pain without payoff.
Pain with a guarantee of more of the same.
Pointless.
Pissing in the wind, as my friend Marv would say.
If you're not able to clean up your unnecessary suffering (or even able to have an awareness of when/how you're doing this), hit me up.
I can help you cut through all of the noise and keep you from experiencing pointless pain.
Life is far too short.
Best regards,
Machele
Machele Galloway is a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School. She's based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and specializes in helping her clients manage their time and their minds. She firmly believes that you can't manage one without managing the other. She virtually coaches women nationwide. If she isn't coaching clients, she is studying concepts and techniques. And if she isn't doing that, she's probably playing with a dog or watching the Real Housewives of some city. - “Life is short. Play a little.”
