How to better yourself...
Many of my new clients come to me wanting to better themselves. They're tired, and they want to feel productive, happy and fix all of the things that are wrong with them.
I get it. I was on a hyperfocused mission to find out what was wrong with me for the bulk of my 30's. I wanted to find what was wrong with me so I could fix it, and in turn, fix me. I read all the books, tried all the things. I accomplished some pretty big things, but I never felt like I was "better." I was chasing a unicorn.
What if there isn't anything wrong with you now?
What if believing that something is wrong with you IS the only problem?
I'm sure you're thinking, oh no, you don't understand...
✔ I really AM lazy
✔ Bad things happen to me all the time; they just do.
✔ I never stick with anything long enough
✔ I really do procrastinate
✔ I really am a terrible friend
✔ I really have made a lot of mistakes
✔ I really did have a lousy childhood and didn't learn how to A, B, or C
✔ I really do need to lose weight
✔ I really don't have any control around food
Think, "I want to better myself."
How does that make you feel?
Inferior? Damaged? Does it make you feel like you have to wait until you’re better to be happy?
Does it cleanly motivate you? (Not motivation by assaulting yourself mentally into taking action.)
What would you need to change to be "better?"
Think about your list for a minute. I'll be better when ___________________________. Seriously, take a break and write down all of your answers.
I'll be better when I lose 25 pounds
Get a job
Stop being lazy
Make more money
Have more friends
Have a hobby
Learn how to stop procrastinating
Become more productive
Have more of a social life
The thoughts we think drive the actions we take.
If those thoughts are toxic, so are the actions and the results. A + B = C
Our thoughts are self-fulling prophecies.
It can be challenging to see the impact your thoughts have on your life because you are too in the weeds to see things objectively.
Visualize your child (or imagine a younger version of yourself) for the below exercise.
Okay, let's imagine that your child comes to you and says, "Mom, I feel awful about myself," and your answer is. Perfect, all you have to do to fix that is get straight A's in every class, never sleep in again, do every chore on time without fail, only eat healthy food, never make a wrong decision, always be a perfect daughter-friend-sibling. And imagine if your child believed that. How is the child likely to react? Shut down. Numb out.
What if nothing is wrong with you? Seriously. Think about it. What if you're just a human thinking things, feeling emotions, and taking actions. That's it.
The story you tell yourself is what determines the results you have in your life. So if you tell yourself that something is wrong with you, you will likely feel shame, and naturally, shame will cause you to hide, try to numb out, and focus on all of the things that are wrong with you. A + B = C
How would your life change if you no longer believed that something was wrong with you? What if you knew in every bone in your body that nothing was wrong with you? Even when you're lazy, even when you procrastinate, even when you make mistakes.
"I made a mistake, and that's okay" will create drastically different results in your life than "Here we go again, I always screw up."
Pay attention to your thoughts, and make sure you like the results they will create in your life because A + B = C. Always.
If you feel lost in your story and unable to see your situation objectively, or if this sounds like something you're struggling with, there is a much better way to get through it. You can feel peace and love for yourself without fixing any of the things on your list.
If you are ready to go all-in for yourself, I can help you. And I can save you a ton of time and pain by showing you an effective way to clean all of this up. Without buying every self-help book on Amazon. Without silently beating yourself up for years. And without white-knuckling your way through all of the methods that don't work.
Book your one hour consult so you can take an objective look at what is working in your life, what isn't working in your life, and learn how I could specifically help you. If it sounds like a slam-dunk fit, we can talk about what it would look like to work together one-on-one.
🤼 You are welcome to join my free Facebook group to learn how to coach yourself, manage your mind, etc.
Or if you want to go all-in on loving your life, book a consult here so you can learn about how I could help you and what it would look like to work together.
Machele Galloway is a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School. She's based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and specializes in helping her clients manage their time and their minds. She firmly believes that you can't manage one without managing the other. She virtually coaches women nationwide. If she isn't coaching clients, she is studying concepts and techniques. And if she isn't doing that, she's probably playing with a dog somewhere. - “Life is short. Play a little.”
