"I'm such an idiot"
One of my new time management clients came to her session feeling defeated.
In our previous session, we had mapped out her full week for the first time. She was excited, motivated, and couldn't wait to get started.
We set her goal, broke down all of the actions, and put the puzzle together on her calendar.
She was crushing it until the day before our call. She woke up late, got an annoying email from her boss, and she went completely off the rails.
She ruminated all day over how he doesn't respect her, she works hard, and nobody appreciates her.
She woke the beast - the side of our brain that jumps into catastrophe mode and sets out on a mission to run through absolutely every possible thing that sucks.
And that side of our brain is good at its job.
She hit the good old "f#%$ it" button and didn't do anything on her schedule. Other than breaks, of course, lol.
So she woke up the morning of our call and spent the entire morning berating herself.
It was brutal.
She came to the call saying, "I'm such an idiot, I do this all the time. I never learn. I had everything lined up and outlined on my calendar, and I still can't get it right! It's never going to work for me. I just always self-sabotage. I even have a time management coach, and STILL can't get it right!"
Not surprisingly, she felt defeated entirely, so she just shut down, gave up, and numbed out.
Yes, this was one version of how she could analyze her situation; the negative version will always come first and almost effortlessly.
But we don't have to believe that story and stop there.
We can pump the brakes and get curious about what else is true.
Deep down, she thought that beating herself up would finally cause her to get her shit together. She thought it would motivate her into action.
It took a hot minute to point out how that story would never create positive results because it caused her to feel defeated. And as humans, we do not take actions from defeated energy that will ever generate a positive outcome. Ever.
I used an actual tool to point it out in black-and-white, where it was impossible to miss the results that type of story will create in her life.
Impossible.
After that clicked, I asked to tell me what else was true about this whole situation? What is another version of the story?
Crickets.
Crickets.
Crickets.
This part does not come easy in the beginning. Focusing on the positive side of the story is a skill that has to be developed.
Here is what else she came up with that was also true:
She had kicked serious ass and accomplished more than ever before leading up to the boss's email.
She could re-arrange her schedule for the next two days and still get everything accomplished for the week.
She had a bad day because her feelings were hurt, and that's okay. Bad days are going to happen and are normal.
She can learn how to handle situations like this better, so she doesn't completely go off the rails.
This version of the story is also just as true as the negative, and this one helped her calm down and have a little more compassion for herself.
She was able to turn things around and create a positive result from calm and compassionate energy.
Our stories are optional. You can find truth in the "negative" and the "positive" versions, so why do we so easily hold onto an optional story, makes us feel awful, and causes us to show up in a way we're not proud of? Like really get curious about it. What is the upside?
What is a story you're telling yourself about your life that makes you feel awful and ultimately continue producing negative results because of the way you show up in your life when you feel that emotion?
What else is true? What is the positive version of the story? Get curious about it. Please take 15 minutes and journal on it. Be willing to be wrong.
Hit me up if you are convinced that your situation is different, and there isn't another version of your story.
I can help you stop the unnecessary suffering immediately and show you what you need to do to clean this up permanently.
Love your life,
Machele
Machele Galloway is a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School. She's based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and specializes in helping her clients manage their time and their minds. She firmly believes that you can't manage one without managing the other. She virtually coaches women nationwide. If she isn't coaching clients, she is studying concepts and techniques. And if she isn't doing that, she's probably playing with a dog or watching the Real Housewives of some city. - “Life is short. Play a little.”
